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Kill the teachers, and their pupils look em dead in the eyes, i’m looking death in the eyes, and to the reaper i smiled, cause what’s the point in fearing death, if you ain’t living my guy? – Hanumankind
It’s been five weeks since i wrote the last report, and boy - coming back on the track feels so good. This solitary review process is precious, something i should stay consistent on for the rest of my life. Did a review on my braindump notes over the last month, and dumped a bit more. These blogs are just an abstraction of everything that goes in my head.
Work’s been intense and too much fun – we started out on a new sprint and it’s fulfilling to see things coming together one Friday at a time. We were notified about being selected into the finals of the Snowflake Startup Summit sometime in May, and after a couple weeks of pitch rehearsals, we won it this Thursday. We did a company video shoot(+reconnaissance) over a weekend, which was a first-time experience for us all! What i found interesting was how i dealt with the perceived pressure of the ‘finals’, playing games with my mind, and getting pumped with tennis swings and music.
The team has been growing, we moved to a bigger cabin as all of us are working out of Bangalore in June – it’s fun to head into office and have the energy oozing. Heading out to in-person meetings with end users has consistently been something i look forward to!
i realized this: so much of work is defined by what happens in life and so much of what happens in life is defined by work. There is no such thing as separation, and the best way to deal with it is to merge everything into one. One purpose, singular focus, meaning no balance required in the conventional sense. The way to manage balance is by pacing life as a string of runs: warmup, sprint, rest and repeat.
Something i’m thinking of is how i get better at saying No – seems cliched, but this is something i’ve realized and have received feedback about as well. i would rank myself high on both agreeableness and conscientiousness, which can be a tricky place to be in where i have to disagree and call things out. i typically keep emotions under check in all situations, but there is more nuance between “showing emotions” and “keeping emotions under check”. Showing emotions while keeping them under check is possible, and is necessary to become a good leader. Over the last few weekends, spent a good amount of time w Divyansh doing pitch rehearsals and felt really good about how we’re thinking about company building together.
The market’s been hammered over the last month or so, and i see this as an opportunity in navigating tough markets, both for the business and personally. Took a good look at my balances, and reverse engineered where i might need to save/invest, keeping in mind life plans for the next 3 to 5 years.
i haven’t met the girl in the last month and it’s been long-distance as she’s been travelling. We completed 2 months recently, and i feel safe at the subconscious level. Having balance on this front helps me think forward, dream and plan the future together! Something to get better at: how i listen and respond to her on a daily basis, irrespective of how tired/happy i feel – all relationships take effort, and anything worth having shouldn’t come easy. As Huberman says, “effort, then reward”.
On the fitness front, i haven’t been running as much, but hitting the gym harder. i’ve hit 40KG on the Squat and BenchPress – personal records on both! i’ve been regular on the Sauna over weekends, but not as much on BJJ. There’ve been late nights at work, and it has impacted the regularity of my stretching sessions in the evening. i’ve tuned down my abs workouts to once a week, which is not ideal either. Overall, things need to get better - and i’ll optimize this by 5:30AM mornings going forward. Hitting good numbers on the NoFap streaks, recently broke it at Day 12.
My father’s contracted COVID, yet again - and it’s not pretty. i helped talk the family through how to feel better: isolation, no sun, and no exercise is such a bummer, especially for people who exercise often. Hard times create strong men, and that’s how we get out of this.
What’s the point in fearing death, if you ain’t living my guy? STAY HARD. KEEP HAMMERING.